Cryptic crossword No 1,275

Every single one of the question mark clues here is just *chef's kiss* - overall, the semi-arbitrary ticks go to 18a (*groan*), 22a (my fave), 25a, 28a (also my fave), 2d (love the surface!), 3d & 24d (LOI despite deducing the wordplay on the first pass because I needed to let the parse simmer, so I gotta respect it). Thanks for the fun puzzle!

This was a lovely puzzle, 16d in particular was superb but any one of them could have been a favourite in an average grid. Thank you!